Trauma isn’t necessarily about what happened. It’s more about what happened after, how you process the death, and everything that you hold as you navigate your grief.

The death of a best friend is unlike any other death. It’s completely disorienting. It’s the ripping away of the person who held your secrets and your unfiltered self. When a best friend dies, it can feel like the world has tilted off its axis, leaving you searching for solid ground.

You believed the future was yours. You and him…married just a few short years, dreaming of decades together. Then he died. The world shifted under your feet, and suddenly time itself felt fractured. You find yourself asking “How do I go on?”

Grief doesn’t always cry softly. Sometimes it shows up as heat. A clenched jaw. A fast heart beat. Words you don’t mean flying out like daggers. It’s sometimes agitated, erratic, and honest.

You’re standing in the wreckage of something that shattered your world entirely, and your body hasn’t gotten the memo that it’s over. Grief isn’t just sorrow and pain…it’s a body that keeps reliving the moment injustice made itself real.

They were your home. Your person. The one who saw you in your quiet moments, who finished your sentences, who made you feel like you could exhale in a world that never seems to let up.

Let’s get one thing straight: Grief doesn’t come with an expiration date.

We’ve all heard the phrase that “time heals all wounds,” but anyone who’s actually been cracked open by loss knows the truth: time changes grief. 

We're fed a misleading idea: grief as a tidy process with clear phases and stages. But our lived experience never matches that convenient narrative. Our grief doesn't follow a predictable path toward some predetermined resolution.

Acceptance might look like a feeling of lightness in the body, a sense of understanding and acceptance of the reality of what happened (even if it isn’t something you would have chosen to happen), feeling a connection to your person.

Depression might look like feeling heavy, unmotivated, uninterested in life, believing nothing else matters, believing life cannot go on, feeling unable to get out of bed, move, or do life

BARGAINING might look like pleading with self or others for things to be different than how they are, ruminating on “what ifs”, believing things “should” be different than how they are, making resolutions, a sense of “grasping” in the body.

Denial can look like: feeling stuck, an inability to say what happened, pretending as if nothing happened, not changing anything in your life to accommodate the loss, refusing to talk about the person or what happened, physical feeling of being small or hidden.

Please know that the stages of grief are not linear, and are not exclusive.  By this I mean that you probably will experience each stage of grief, but you won’t experience them in order, you won’t experience them once, you will never “complete” them, and you will also experience a lot of other emotions. 

In the quest for peace amidst the chaos of grief, the concept of Santosha, or contentment, offers a gentle path forward. Santosha doesn't urge us to be complacent or to ignore our pain but invites us to find joy in the life we have now, even in its most imperfect and challenging moments.

Welcome to the less talked about side of grief, where the sadness is massive, but the anger? Oh, it’s monumental. If you've ever wanted to punch a pillow (or a wall—though we don't recommend it) while grieving, you're not alone, you're not overreacting, and there’s nothing wrong with you. This post is your unofficial permission slip to feel and express that anger without guilt.

Grieving the death of a partner is an immensely personal and profound journey, one that can feel even more burdensome as the days grow shorter and sunlight becomes scarce. The shift into the darker months can often mirror the internal landscape of grief—where feelings of solitude and sadness can deepen with the encroaching shadows. However, within this darkness, there are glimmers of light and warmth to be found, ways to nurture your spirit, and methods to carry you gently through these longer nights.

Welcome to the fourth post in our new monthly series, which delves into the ancient wisdom of yoga and its profound philosophies. Laura Walton, the founder of lovelew, attests to yoga's incredible healing powers, especially in navigating the turbulent waters of grief. With its deep roots and comprehensive practices, yoga offers a sanctuary for those seeking to reconnect with their bodies and find grounding when other connections seem lost.